Levels of anxiety and depression among children and adolescents are rising. Pressures from school, peers and social media can become quickly overwhelming. One of the best ways to support children and adolescents to be resilient to these pressures is by teaching them the coping strategies to deal with them.
A common factor in both anxiety and depression is what psychologists call ‘a negative explanatory style’. This is essentially the story we tell ourselves to explain any event we experience.People with a negative explanatory style tend to own failure and attribute success to luck. The more negative the explanation we give ourselves the more likely we are to be suffering from anxiety or depression.
Children and teenagers tend to have very ‘black or white’ thinking. This is totally normal due to their stage of brain development. However, if we are not mindful of the stories they are telling themselves about themselves this can become an issue, especially as negativity feeds negativity.
Luckily positivity feeds positivity too, and it is by using this we can support our kids to develop more healthy and realistic explanatory styles. Essentially we can teach our kids strategies to challenge their thinking, train them to gain some perspective and essentially ‘learn optimism’. One way of doing this is through teaching them the 3P’s (Seligman).
The 3 P’s stand for Pervasiveness, Permanence and Personalisation.
- Pervasivenesslooks at how much of your life a concern impacts – How big?
- Permanencelooks at how long an issue is going to be of concern – How long?
- Personalisationlooks at how much you feel you are to blame – How much?
In terms of the 3Ps a negative explanatory style would like something like this:- “It is a massive issue that will affect my life for ever and it is all my fault” (you might recognise this from something you might hear your child say!).
Imagine your child comes home and has had a falling out with their school friends. The negative explanation is “that it has ruined their whole social life, they are never going to have friends again and it is because they are unlikeable”.
By using the three 3P’s we can help them to reality check their thinking. Although they have fallen out with their school friends they may still have other friendships elsewhere (pervasiveness). By identifying previous times of successful conflict resolution it makes the likelihood of them making friends again seem more possible (permanance), and by helping them to understand what went wrong and what action they might take gives back a sense of control (personalisation).
By teaching a child to look at each issue and use the 3Ps, you are able to support them to develop a more realistic explanation. Using the 3Ps to challenge their thinking (by scoring each P out of 10) gives them both a clear perspective and also a solid view of where best to take action if required.
With practice over time this strategy allows a more rational explanatory style to develop. By using the 3P’s you learn how to be more optimistic in your outlook. The more optimistic you are in your outlook, the less likely you are to feel overwhelmed, anxious or depressed.
Try it for yourself and let me know how you get on – it works!
Disclaimer -If you are concerned about your child’s mental health, get support. You can talk to the school, talk to your GP and if necessary talk to a psychologist or other mental health professional to get the help that they need in a timely manner.
FAQs
The 3 P's stand for Pervasiveness, Permanence and Personalisation. Pervasiveness looks at how much of your life a concern impacts – How big? Permanence looks at how long an issue is going to be of concern – How long? Personalisation looks at how much you feel you are to blame – How much?
How to teach kids about depression? ›
When explaining depression to young children, you can relate it to their own emotional experiences by asking them to remember a time they felt sad or blue. Most children will be able to understand this feeling. Consider explaining that for some people, this sad feeling never goes away.
How to manage anxiety and stress? ›
Take Care of Your Body
- Get vaccinated for the flu each year. ...
- Keep up with regular health appointments.
- Eat healthy. ...
- Get enough sleep. ...
- Move more and sit less. ...
- Limit alcohol intake. ...
- Avoid using illegal drugs or prescription drugs in ways other than prescribed. ...
- Avoid smoking, vaping, and the use of other tobacco products.
So that's five things that can help you develop optimism: Focus on what's going well; practice gratitude; learn from your past; expect good things; and discover what brings you hope.
What are 4 ways to be optimistic? ›
How to be optimistic
- Keep a gratitude journal. Write every day in a gratitude journal. ...
- Create positive mantras. ...
- Be positive around others. ...
- Find the good in challenging situations. ...
- Consciously think positive thoughts. ...
- Limit your consumption of the news. ...
- Spend time with optimistic people. ...
- Do activities you enjoy.
Research suggests that parental patterns of irritability and withdrawal lead to low self-esteem in the child, and this poor self-image predisposes the child to depression. Childhood depression is also associated with a family history of mood disorders and with the existence of other psychiatric conditions.
What activities help kids with depression? ›
Teach them relaxation exercises, like deep breathing, and practice them together. Encourage positive habits: Help your child stick to regular eating and sleeping habits and stay active. Physical activity and music are both great ways to boost their mood.
How to help a child with stress and anxiety? ›
Help them take a break from stress.
Make time to play, draw or paint, spend time in nature, read a book, play an instrument, be with friends and family. These activities are more than just fun. They help kids and teens feel positive emotions that offset stress.
What is the 3-3-3 rule for anxiety? ›
It's an easy technique to remember and use in the moment, it's available to us the majority of the time, and it can be a simple strategy to help us focus and ground when anxiety overwhelms. Put simply, you name three things you can see, three you can hear, and move three different body parts.
What are the four C's of anxiety? ›
More specifically we expect positive association between caring and anxiety and a negative association between the other four Cs (competence, confidence, character, and connection) and anxiety.
But exercise includes a wide range of activities that boost your activity level to help you feel better. Certainly running, lifting weights, playing basketball and other fitness activities that get your heart pumping can help.
What do the three P's stand for? ›
The three Ps in first aid is an easy framework for responding to a medical emergency. The three P's stand for preserving life, preventing deterioration, and promoting recovery.
What do the 3 P's mean? ›
Before the advent of the internet revolution, the three Ps — people, process, product — were all tangible objects that you could literally put your hands on. Processes involved small- or large-scale pieces of equipment linked together into assembly lines, inventory management, and other essential functions.
What is the 3 P's technique? ›
If you are interested in public speaking, then you have probably heard about the 3 Ps of Public speaking - Prepare, Practice, Perform. And if you are a leader working with a communications consultant, you know about the 3 Ps as well. Which, by the way, is excellent! It means you get the right coaching.
What is the 3 P's framework? ›
The 3Ps framework: People, policies and places.
